The Cannon

Image by StockSnap from Pixabay

To say why it didn’t go to plan

We’ll have to start where it began

And how we left it to Phil and Stan

The idea was awesome it was great

Those older girls would be irate

But we should have entrusted Bob or Nate

The laundryman was easily bribed

His weakness was that he imbibed

His task was easily circumscribed

The Rutledge twins supplied the gun

A massive piece that weighed a ton

They made it louder just for fun

We filled it with the stolen laundry

But then arose a major quandry

Our solution would come back to haunt me

You see women’s wear does not fly well

And we could not put it in a shell

But we reasoned clumps of mud the undies would propel

We should have trusted it to Ron and John

Or maybe even Don or Juan

But Phil and Stan if fell upon

Not the brightest in the bunch

Their brains were always out to lunch

But we were rushed and in a crunch

The job assigned we ran away

To find a place were we could stay

To watch the awe-inspiring display

A boom rang out

We heard a shout

And from their cabin the girls ran out

The first to yell was loud mouth Kate

The girl who filled us all with hate

As she favored no one with a date

The laundry rained down but something strange

Something we did not arrange

A horrifying new exchange

Just when it seemed to go so well

The girls running, yelling all pell mell

Kate, dreaded Kate, yelled out “What’s that smell???!!!”

And now we watched the travesty unfold

The girls screaming became uncontrolled

Our penance, we knew, would be too awful to behold

So if you’re going to break the rules

Don’t entrust your plan to fools

Who don’t have brains to use as tools

For even a little cub scout troupe

Or possibly a toddlers group

Would not confuse mud with poop

Ode To A Faithful Friend

Image by Q K from Pixabay

You crouch there in your little room

With not else much to do

But you’re not sad or filled with gloom

Cause they’ll always come to you

It could be at the break of light

Before they start their day

Or sometimes even late at night

They might come for a stay

They’ll come to you on bended knee

Or set a spell and read a book

Gasping while they worship thee

Or relaxing in your cozy nook

But come what may you never mind

Cause light or dark or day or night

You don’t mind cradling their behind

For any bottom is a welcome sight

I could sit here and I could wax poetic

Spinning praises like a bathroom rapper

Tapping your vibe and dropping words aesthetic

I guess you’d have to call me MC Crapper